Making Alliance with my Parts

Written by: Dinelsa Morales, Ph.D, TFC, MSW intern

For: Hispanic Family Counseling Inc. Newsletter March 2023 Edition

The formation of the human being as an individual is impressive. We all live unique moments that are recorded in our consciousness or unconsciousness. Climbing a tree, an accident, the first kiss, or the voice that scares us, are examples of memories that alter or bless the person we are. In this writing we will call these memories our parts, parts that have cellular memory, stories, experiences, conflicts, love, smells, flavors, sensations... These parts of us try to come out when we experience various emotions or repeat various sensations that wake them up Like everything, it can be a positive or negative memory.

A few months ago, I experienced how one of my parts called "desperation" tried to take executive control of my decisions and responses. It was an experience that I had to acknowledge, accept and deal with. But I learned something from that, we need to make an alliance with our parts. We need to activate the ability of consciousness and evaluate what is making us act in a certain way at a certain moment. Will it be our fears? Or our loneliness? Or possibly our frustration? ....

Making an alliance with yourself is accepting yourself as you are...

Making an alliance with yourself is recognizing your limitations and your virtues...

Making an alliance with yourself is being able to tell yourself that you are in control and this moment will pass...

In some experiences, we will be exposed to uncertainties or situations that are not in our control, and if we have not made an alliance with our parts, one of them may want to determine your reactions. Validate your emotions, be aware of who you are, and remember; it is better to have a positive conversation with yourself and calm your parts. We are perfectly imperfect humans.